failing at my trick candles :)
My 28th birthday was supremely delicious from start to finish. I've been meaning to tell you that since the day afterward, but I admittedly got caught up in a shuffle of travel, weddings, family and (very) cute boy time. But it was. I ate up every moment of it.
My eyes naturally opened at around 6am (far, far earlier than my normal rise and shine time) and for 45 glorious minutes I cherished, adored and loved every bit of my being. OK OK, that full on sounds like I got a little freaky bow-chica-bow-wow with myself (which also could have been a nice way to start my 28th year), but I don't mean it in that way. I just mean I took 45 minutes to breathe deeply. To lie still and peacefully in the perfect early morning light beginning to trickle its way through my blinds, underneath a fluffy sea of white, freshly laundered blankets. I gave thanks for the potential in another year; I gave thanks for the 27 memory filled ones of my past. My friends often tease me about my morning self-love routines, but it's one of the best parts of my day. I'll have to post about how it has helped to change my life another time...
After putting on my favorite yoga clothes I head out onto a quiet street to grab a cup of coffee and a bagel across the way. I then chatted with my sweet Jenny, who called as soon as her eyes opened (the jig was up when I heard her morning-voiced "Happy birthday, Pats!" scratch through the line). Out of habit I avoided walking down one neighborhood street in particular on my way to the Bay due to my desire to avoid a possible run in with a guy I dated last year. Then, naturally, he almost ran me over as we both turned the corner at the same time. I said hey! He waved. I tripped. We kept walk/running in our respected directions.
Oh Universe, you sure do have a sense of humor :)
The reason I mention this is because on my previous birthday I had cried over his lack of effort to come to dinner with my friends...or even call. I had cried because, frankly, he deeply hurt my feelings and it was a confusing, sad, weird 8 months of dating.
I mention this because it amazed me to notice I didn't flinch at seeing him and could even manage to crack up at myself for tripping...I giggled for a solid 3 blocks to Jenny on the phone, crowning myself the most graceful (read: awkward) gal in the Marina.
And I mention this because it's good to be reminded of how much time and space can serve to bring us new perspective; how much they can heal us, if we let them. It was beautiful to think wow, I am so, so much happier right now than I was a year ago and know that this fact stemmed from a place of great personal patience, effort and love. The previous year all I could see was they ways in which I felt hurt during my time with him. But now? Now I can see all the amazing ways in which that time pushed me down a more positive road--not necessarily because of who he is, but because of how it gave me strength in who I am. I am able to forgive, release and even give thanks for his brief chapter in my story. Time is the great equalizer, Trish, so trust the process and let it do its job. Will this matter a year from now? Food for thought during those future in-the-moment breakdowns, ya know?
Twice a month Weebly has a private yoga class downstairs led by the awesome Lindsay. I may have mentioned once or twice (or 54 times) to our team in the weeks leading up how great it would be if folks gave it a shot on my birthday. Usually we only have between 3-6 participants but when it was time to downward dog on June 20th, eleven people participated--3 trying the practice for the very first time ever.
As Lindsey wound down the practice (side note: she kicked.our.butts.) she ever so kindly asked everyone to "send Trish love on her birthday, which fittingly falls on Summer Solstice, the day with the most light--just like our Trish." Let's be serious--this sentiment, combined with the fact folks had made time in their days to try something new simply because they knew it would make me happy...well, I couldn't hold back my tears. I turned around to face the group and choked out my gratitude. I am beyond blessed to work here.
That evening 14 women flanked my sides at dinner. 3 years in San Francisco and I can't believe I've managed to surround myself with so many beautiful female friends. They are love, light and forces to be reckoned with. I would not be where I am without them.
With about 15 minutes left in my day, I said goodnight to my sleepover buddy (the awesome cousin Meggie) and let myself drift easily, contently and....what else?....gratefully into June 21st.
My cup runneth over,