"Finally, Tricia , the Official Top Ten Spiritual Ways to Defeat Boredom, Make Friends, Find Love, Trim Down, Shape Up, Discover Your Purpose, Make a Fortune, and Shine Your Light, are...
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Loving these awesome headbands from Kitsch and super grateful of my gal pal, Julie, for being so thoughtful and generous in mailing them to me!! What a rad surprise waiting in my mailbox--totally made my night. I have a feeling my yoga mojo is going to be stepped up a notch when I rock these power mantras on the mat ;) love and light, Trish "The decision to be positive is not one that disregards or belittles the sadness that exists. It is rather a conscious choice to focus on the good and to cultivate happiness and genuine happiness. Happiness is not a limited resource. And when we devote our energy and time to trivial matters and choose to stress over things that ultimately are insignificant, from that point we perpetuate our own sadness and we lose sight of the things that really make us happy...and rationalize our way out of doing amazing things." -Christopher Aiff In Gratitude, Trish In conclusion: I did it! Woot! Hooray! I'm alive! Ego in tact! With my bff by my side (along with 2 other super amazing women who were also first timers) I returned to the Circus Center (butterflies full force flapping in my tummy) and gave trapeze the ol' college try. Truthfully, there was no reason for me to compare myself to Kim or any of her class mates; clearly these folks had been practicing for years. And more importantly, they had each, at one time, all been beginners just like me. I had built a sense of competition up in my own head; it didn't exist outside of this funny little noggin. I was simply competing with my own ego and it was time to take the ego out of the game. I love what Kim said about the rewards in taking a leap, particularly the sense of pride in accomplishing something with a little courage. She told me to expect my sense of pride to grow after a few days, and she was dead right. Each person I showed my video to in the days following our adventure made my spirit feel bigger and bigger with their whoas! awesomes! so badass's!. An old friend once told me, flat out, there was nothing in his life he'd ever felt particularly proud of--no accomplishment, no reached goal, no good deed, etc. "What do you mean?", I said, "you went to law school, have a successful career, traveled the entire world for a year...there is plenty you have done that is worthy of feeling proud of." "Those are all things anyone can do. Those are things that lots of people already do, actually." he replied. "It may be a bit more difficult for someone else, logistically or financially speaking, but realistically anyone could accomplish those kinds of things. I can't think of anything I've done that is especially...well...special. So no, there is nothing I've ever felt truly proud of myself about." This really bummed me out. I mean how sad is that--denying the joy found in a self high-five because of the perceived level of "special"? I prefer to argue the opposite: Every day we face the world, take a risk, accomplish a goal (big or small) or open our hearts to another, we should be proud of ourselves. Each time we get back up, try something new, stretch outside our comfort zones or face a challenge, we should be proud of ourselves. Giving yourself credit doesn't have to solely exist in special "success"; giving yourself credit can begin with the courage of try. So, with my head held high and a nervous smile on my face (fear instantly weakens when you face it with a smile) I took my turn. One of my secrets of success? Master the art of fake it 'til ya make it... After a few more leaps it was time to try a "catch" (any Sex and the City lovers know this from Carrie's turn on the ol' trapeze bar).... Watch how I did below! And pardon the f-bomb dropped by my videographer ;) Thanks, Kim, for lovingly encouraging me to return to the Circus Center. I am a better woman for it :) love and light, Trish suiting up...gulp. by Kim Walker. Trish is one-of-a-kind. A beautiful snowflake. She is her own perfect self, seeing the world from a truly unique perspective. Except when it comes to one thing: trapeze. When it comes to climbing a ladder and throwing herself from a height while relying solely on her own strength, Trish is not alone in her perspective. Trish is the preacher, we’re all the choir. That shit is scary. When I say, “I do flying trapeze”, people say, “Oh, I’d be too scared”. I say, “Of what?” Then come the reasons: heights, climbing the ladder, falling, etc. Yes, all those things are ultra scary. But what if I told you we’ve got that all on lock. We got nets, we got safety lines, we got harnesses. We got your fear-busters right here. Now, this is where Trish is really unique. Where she really shines brightest as a rare jewel of a woman: she is honest about what scares her and honest in how she faces those fears. She said from the beginning, “I’d be afraid I couldn’t jump off. I’d be afraid I’d embarrass myself.” And I get it. Can you imagine how awful it would be if your flying trapeze class didn’t go well, and then you had to go home and blog about it? When Trish didn’t fly at that first class, I thought it was game over. When you’re standing at the edge of the tiny trapeze platform, thinking to yourself, “This is so stupid, why am I doing this, abort, abort, abort”, your brain enters a somewhat binary place. Yes/no, fight/flight, pee/poo. I have seen so many people face that crucial moment. It’s a one shot deal - you don’t get to change your mind. You either jump right then, and it’s as if the door is opened, the path is wide. Or you don’t jump, and the door closes, the path is blocked, and it’s almost impossible to come back. It’s a very rare case that someone can work up the nerve to climb back up and try again (Except my mom, who I told to “just climb back up and look around”, when I had actually secretly told the instructor to fling her bodily from the platform. Sorry, Mom). But Trish did it. She walked out of that building and then did something really unique: she came back. She showed up for a second time with fear bubbling and her mind set. She didn’t balk, she didn’t panic, instead she very stoically faced her fears. And did a damn good job of it. And I’m pretty sure she enjoyed it, because there’s a flipside to that tremendous fear: incredible joy and pride. Joy in flying through the air, and pride in choosing the scary path. Sam Keen, a journalist turned philosopher, wrote a book called “Learning to Fly” about taking up flying trapeze at age 61. He says: “Each day befriend a single fear, and the miscellaneous terrors of being human will never join together to form such a morass of vague anxiety that it rules your life from the shadows of the unconscious. We learn to fly not by being fearless, but by the daily practice of courage.” Fear never leaves us, and in fact, it probably shouldn’t. A little healthy fear probably keeps us safe from stupid mistakes. But fear does not have to be binary. We don’t have to let fear force us off the platform, never to return again. We can always climb back up and try again after practicing a little courage. When facing extreme fear, especially fear that comes from within, it’s a pretty good bet that there’s an extreme reward waiting on the other side. All it takes is a little jump. “The sacred is discovered in what moves and touches us, in what makes us tremble.” ― Sam Keen ___________________________________________________________ For part THREE (and final, with video evidence) post of me and the flying trapeze, check back tomorrow ;) kim making circus toys look like a place to lounge! About 6 months ago I had the extreme pleasure of watching my awesome friend and TGL guest blogger, Kim, show off her trapeze skills during one of her classes at the Circus Center in San Francisco. It was an impromptu tag along--we'd been spending the afternoon together and decided there was no reason for the fun to stop. Why don't you come with me and maybe give it a shot?, Kim asked. A quick change into gym gear and we were on our way! But when we got to the center I instantly knew I would not be participating. If I'm honest, I think I knew it the moment we walked out of my apartment. Kim's class mates and instructors were so sweet and encouraging during my visit (You'll love it, we swear! It's not hard, we promise!). They were so sweet and encouraging that I kinda wanted to make a fist and tell them to shut their traps, or else! in my best Jersey voice. I politely smiled and declined their numerous offers to give it a go, honestly replying that I really did not feel a desire to participate today and would rather observe Kimmy while taking photos and video of her. I told Kim that this was one of those instances where "no" was actually a "yes" for what I really wanted, parked myself on the sidelines and enjoyed the trapeze show. But the truth was, a part of me really did want to participate. And I was not just saying no because it didn't appeal to me at the time. I was saying no because, frankly, I was terrified. Full blown, butterflies if you make me do this, first day of school, give a speech to a full auditorium, biggest game of the year nerves. It's important to keep in mind as this little story unfolds that I am not usually one to shy away from a unique challenge. I have been skydiving (twice), white water rafting in Alaska (I was 7, but still), flown in puddle-jumper sized planes, zip-lined upside down across the jungle, etc etc. I am a lover of roller coasters, travel, and things that move fast. High adrenaline activities do not, generally speaking, scare me. So why on earth was the idea of taking a stab at trapeze so intimidating to me? When it comes down to it, I am easily able to put my trust in others. You want to strap me to your front and jump out of a plane with me? Let's do it. You pull the shoot and I'll squeal with delight on the way down. You want to take me for a flight around the Bay a few days after getting your pilots license? Sweet! Can I take pictures? The kind of adventure activities that are so glaringly outside of my control once I have accepted my role in them have little to no affect on me. I'm almost completely un-phased by the "risks". But when it comes to putting trust in myself...to owning up to all potential mess ups, boo boos, epic failures or "embarrassing" moments inevitable to learning a new skill (and walking away with my head held high)...well...we've got some issues. There were several aspects of trapeze that brought my insecurities bubbling, piping hot, to the surface: The act of climbing the ladder. eek. What if I stumble and fall? Standing on a tiny platform, death gripping the poles. wowza. What if I trip and fall? And reaching out to hold onto a bar that will then swing me over a net until I am instructed to get my legs up and hands off of said bar. um yea. What if I can't do it and look like a total doink? Behold, the mama of all ego based insecurity. So that was my first experience at the Circus Center: a slightly anxious view from the sidelines, a proverbial spot on the bench. And I have to tell you--it didn't sit right with me. That tiny, brave voice in my heart kept nagging at me for days following, telling me to try, try, try! despite my best efforts to silence her. And when Kimmy offered to take me again, along with my bff who was in town for a week (and who excitedly jumped at the opportunity without batting an eye...she's way cooler than me), I decided it was time to suit up, woman up and take the damn leap already. Can you guess how the day panned out? Stay tuned for part two.... In Gratitude, Trish I think if I had to wear one simple outfit for the rest of my life it'd be jeans and a white tshirt with a pop of color...like this bright, beautiful new scarf from my super rad Godmama...already lots of compliments today :)
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