I think this weekend I may have agreed to run a half marathon in September. Correction; I think this weekend I may have agreed to run a half marathon in September in *Hawaii*.
And by I think...I mean I did.
And by agreeing, I gave someone my word. By giving someone my word that means I can't back out now...right?
Did I mention I'm not a runner? At all? Whatsoever? Did I mention running makes me feel so ridiculously self conscious? That I feel like these days I have the lungs of a 75 year old chain smoker and the shin-splints of a seasoned tri-athlete? Did I mention I sometimes get winded walking up hills or multiple flights of stairs too quickly? Or that I tend to stick to the mantra "I'll run only if I'm being chased"?
Thinking about this goal is making me terribly anxious; butterflies in the tummy anxious. It's making me nervous and scared and swirly. I don't know that this was a good decision. I don't know that I'll be any good at this. I don't know that I can do it at all. Hello, self doubt. Your presence is very heard right now.
But then again...
It's not brave if you're not scared. And I actually think I *can* do it. And self doubt is a waste of time. This has the potential to be a pretty big deal for me and my humble little life; a true test of my ability to push myself and achieve something I wouldn't normally strive to achieve because it's SO far outside my comfort zone. And isn't that a key to a pretty exciting life? To finding fulfillment and fun and success? Going outside your comfort zone. Plus, it's Hawaii for gosh sake. If I keel over and die in the middle of the run at least the last thing I'll see is beautiful island scenery...
If anyone has any tips, suggestions, recommendations, mantras or running manifestos I would be eternally grateful to receive the support. I will read whatever book you say. I will listen to any tape you think I should. I will buy the best of the best shoes and shorts and pony-tail holders if you tell me they will help.
I need all the help I can get, dear friends!
I need major motivation.
I need big time good thoughts.
I need a cocktail.