I recently heard a story about a family in which their token parting exchange with one another, one that I am excited to adopt for myself, went something like this:
Goodbye, I love you, I wish you enough.
The premise of enough in this context is quite fascinating to me: Enough sunshine to soothe your soul. Enough hardship to help you grow, change, appreciate. Enough love to lift you. Enough sorrow to keep you grounded. Enough to keep you safe, content, whole, authentic. Enough patience to let it all unfold as it should. Just enough: never too much or too little. But enough.
In this country we so often strive, fight, struggle to accomplish a, b and c in our lifetimes that it leaves us deeply lacking in appreciation for what we have, now. We measure our succesess and oh-so-unsuccesses against what we think we need or should have; what others think we need or should have.
When I have this, I will be happy.
If I ever get there, I will be happy.
As long as I will make that, I will be happy.
When I find him/her, I will be happy.
And when we find/do/have/see all of that stuff, phew. We can rest, right?
My deeply intuitive friend Jill calls it moving the goal post; we continuously measure perceived happiness in terms of reaching a certain point, but then once (if) we get there, we go ahead and set new standards for when I will be happy. The truth is: there is little to no sustainable satisfaction in this way of living.
In my own work with T, therapist extraordinaire, I've discovered the ways in which I have fallen into that goal post pushing trap over the years. Since identifying these moments, I can honestly say I am far happier...genuinely happier...than I have been in a long time.
Yes, I have a lot of love surrounding me.
Yes, I have a good job, a lovely home I've built for myself, a healthy family.
Yes, I know I will never be homeless, hungry, alone.
And while these things certainly aid in the ease of which I can snuggle down into contentment and appreciation (I am sending up mega waves of gratitude just typing them out) for my life, the one key difference between "then" and now lies in the simple act of mindfulness.
It lies in making my quick gratitude lists during stressful situations. In saying to myself "these are real points of gratitude, do not dismiss them".
It lies in taking physical inventory to calm my nerves; in feeling the cold on my cheeks, the slight pinch from my shoes, the quickening of my breath on a walk home. These are things felt only by those who are living, here and now. Do not dismiss them.
It lies in allowing the truth of the present moment to just be. No judgment. No rush to "correct", adjust, find solid ground. Just be.
Because I am simply more aware...because I allow myself to feel whatever it is I'm feeling and then gently let it pass (have I ever mentioned the beauty in letting go?)...I am not scared about my future. Whether I'm rich or poor. Single or attached. Mama-title carrying or Super Auntie Trish. I know I will have enough.
I know I will be enough.
And that is a pretty great space to dwell.
Wishing you enough,