This contest might have been a bad idea, I said to B. I feel like I'm embarrassing A for being so public and vocal on wanting to take her as my plus one if I win...I don't like competing with other girls who probably have never been to Costa Rica and I have so why should I get to go again....and I don't like feeling *annoyed* at these other girls that their content is all re-pins or pins of someone else's work, when my board is built entirely of original photos and writing from TGL. Gah! This isn't fun....
As you can see, the ol' ego has been up to its nasty tricks this weekend.
Learning you could vote once every 24 hours from now until February 27th also dampened my spirit a tad--I hated the idea of pestering my friends and family each day, reminding them to vote, vote, vote. Hey Jenny, how's it goin? Great, great...so...uh...like...did you vote today? Ugh. Yucko. Makes my skin crawl. I don't know how politicians do it.
This contest should be feeling like an honor and a compliment, but it was starting to feel like an awkward burden...after a whopping 3 days. No bueno.
So, after a bit of patient and honest reflection (read: a moment of shut up ego, let me hear myself) I realized at the heart of it I was simply feeling unworthy of this incredible trip opportunity and that while I was putting myself down and projecting insecurities on how folks would feel about me promoting myself, I should have been sending out gratitude for all the great people who have already voted for me. I should have been talking myself up, accepting props for even giving it a shot and trusting the process.
What will be, will be. Truly.
Seeing my friends and coworkers so joyfully high-five (or wi-five...get it? wireless high five? dork status accepted) me for being brave enough to enter makes my spirit feel huge. There's no need to be embarrassed about a little self promotion every now again...
...if we don't act as our own cheerleaders, who's to say anyone else will?
Thanks for the votes :)