Today is my last day, after 4 years of grand adventure, at Weebly.
Oh my gosh, I know.
What happened? What's going on? Where are you going? What's next? How come?
Lots of people have been asking me some combination/variation of those questions, and I'm sure my long time readers may be wondering the same things.
Is it OK to simply say "Eh. There's not much to talk about? But all is really well, and the best hasn't happened yet?"
Because that's what feels most true and manageable to me.
Plus, in my last few days with Weebly, I managed to happily sneak in a few Joyologist tricks...
It's like I got to be a mini Tricia-claus for a week, and I loved every second of it.
To be flooded with chats, emails, texts, calls, desk visits within only a few minutes of the official office announcement, and continuing throughout the weekend, was so humbling. To have a huge group show up to my final office yoga class, and send me off with such positive energy, is not something I expected, but recognize as a true kindness I won't soon forget. And of course, to be surprised last night with a party at the Weebly go-to bar, and hugged over and over and over again....I mean I feel like butt today, but gosh it was so worth it.
I had no idea people perceived my presence in the kind, generous, heartfelt ways expressed, and if there is a silver lining in all of this, it's how folks have truly stepped up to make my spirit feel huge. There is so much love, I could simply burst!
So thank you, my friends. I am deeply honored.
And really, I will miss you so much.
You have been like family (said in my best Jersey Italian voice).
But what happens now, you ask?
We move forward.
We move forward because there is freedom in choosing the peaceful path, with a heart full of gratitude.
We move forward because for 4 years I have kept this blog, encouraging folks to fight for their best lives possible, and it's time to apply that more directly to my own (hint hint: in addition to freelance writing, if you know anyone wanting a life coach, my small little practice is accepting clients!)
We move forward because I am so fortunate to be able bodied, able minded, passionate and curious; knowing that I will never be homeless, hungry, or alone is a blessing I cannot even begin to give full, deserving thanks for.
And we move forward because really, that is the only direction God gave us.
SO. The only thing left to say is: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And farewell, truly.
love and light,
This guy was my rock last week.
Encouraging, supportive, loyal, patient, responsive, and always quick to produce the giggles from me.
I am so thankful for both his strength and his softness, fiercely protective nature and gentle, positive perspective. He is truly love and light in motion.
Pulling out all the best boyfriend tricks to help me feel whole and see my own strengths -- including getting my ass to the gym...TWICE -- B made what could have been an utterly heart breaking week more than just survivable. He made it silver-lining memorable.
You da best :)
"Young souls lean on science, Tricia.
I told myself after my first (wonderful) experience as "The Rev", that I would go out on a high note -- retire, if you will -- just to avoid any anxieties that naturally come along with this kind-of-a-big-deal public speaking opportunity.
I told myself I had successfully checked it off the ol' life list, and from now on could stick to playing the role of dancing queen on wobbly heels at every subsequent wedding.
I told my ego don't worry! I'll never get your panties in a bunch like that again!
I told myself a lot of things. (what else is new?)
But then another cousin (I have 25!) whom I adore and consider a true friend, asked if I would do her the honor of joining her hand to her fiance's, and my spirit was too humbled and flattered to say no. I wholeheartedly approve of her now husband, and was touched to know another person could see me in this positive light.
And, she did it over wine and pizza...so really my ego didn't stand a chance.
So I stood up as The Rev once again last weekend, in front of a room full of folks brought together to celebrate the magic of new adventures and connected hearts. I was fortunate to share a few swigs of a tasty vodka drink with sister and Frankito before hand, which helped to take the edge off a smidge.
(This was probably not a very 'Rev' thing to do, but whatevs. We didn't have holy wine, so I worked with what was available.)
And that ol' ego....oh mylanta. It sure was trippin all day.
Not necessarily nervous, per say, because nervous is just excitement without the breath.
But tripping. Tripping over something I couldn't quite put my finger on.
And then I finally admitted to sister the morning of the wedding, lump in my throat as we climbed into her car, what had been silently concerning my soul: "What if....what if people see me up there and think, 'but she's divorced, what the hell could she possibly know about love and union?' What if people see me as a fraud?"
That would never happen, she quickly replied. If anything, you have experienced more life than most, and continue to love, no matter what.
Sister is good like that.
Because I do know a thing or two about love, and more important than that, I am a committed, devout student to the joy of continued love-education; always trying, failing, succeeding, learning, and even, sometimes, outright winning.
I know a thing or two about the importance of, as Amy P. says, continuing to share your heart.
And I know that in all aspects of life, other people's opinions may be relevant -- but they are not gospel.
So I wrote my cousin's ceremony with only 2 people in mind: the bride and groom. As long as they felt it honored their relationship, I could recite it with peace in my heart.
Peace, and maybe a few butterflies.
I closed my sermon with a simple, but sincere wish for the beautiful couple...
"Remember to Listen without agenda.
With Love and Light,
*who for REAL is retired this time.
**unless of course I love you and you ask nicely over pizza and wine.
Tis true -- without Jenny's loving guidance over the years, I'd still be wearing jean skirts, hoodies, and raggedy Toms most days (not necessarily all at once, but certainly a terrible, slightly tragic, combination at times). And while that "look" sometimes calls to me, I now know new levels of confidence courtesy of the right clothes.
Thank you, my friend, for helping me feel inspired to dress for my spirit and to hold my head high in a well fitting outfit.
(Ps -- the best accessory in this pic is clearly my Sophia phone cover. How can you not get a giggle at that?!)
“You could spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future, but all there will ever be is what’s happening here and the decisions we make in this moment which are based in either love or fear. So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach…ridiculous to expect. So we never dare to ask the Universe for it. I’m saying I’m the proof that you can ask the Universe for it.