Hey there, Grateful Lifers!
I am so honored to be a contributor in this month's Happiness + Wellbeing Magazine, a beautiful compilation of content that balances holistic wellness tips with nourishing spiritual practices & self-help strategies for a radiantly happy + well life. In short: they rock, and think y'all do, too!
This is truly a gorgeous collection of inspiring words. Media these days can be so....bleck, often communicating a high sense of life envy, body shame, comparison, and messages of buy more, more, more. It is kind of intimidating, when it should be uplifting, healing, and encouraging! It's because of this fact that I am a huge fan of H+W's positive, good vibes mission: It deeply speaks to my hippie/mystical mama, inner goddess, earth & life lovin soul :) And as fellow gratitude practitioners, I think you'll certainly pick up on the healthy energies they are pumping out.
To read my essay on opening the door to self discovery, download the June issue from their website at www.happywellmag.com or via the Apple App Store. Each issue costs just $2.99, and as always, your support absolutely means the world to me!
Pretty cool to see myself quoted like that!
I'd love to hear your thoughts on my piece, so thanks for reading and spreading the good juju :)
A zillion thank you's are owed to everyone who sent well wishes my way on Saturday -- I truly felt your positive vibes of love and light, and am extremely grateful y'all took the time to think of me :)
Just for shits and giggles I snapped a few pics with my trusty iPhone throughout the day to document some of my personal highlights, starting with a DELICIOUS homemade brekkie (per my request) of chocolate chip pancakes. My nutritionist manslice really broke the rules with these buttery babies, and I basically had to force myself not to rush but rather savor each decadent bite. His food presentation skills are pretty on point, don't you think?
I was stoked to sport my new, beautiful watch (thanks, sister!!!) all day. I kept telling B that "my baby iced me out". It's been years since I've owned and worn a watch, and I'm already loving how it prevents me from reaching for my phone as often. The mixed metals are perfect for me since I am a lover of both silver and gold jewelry and have always believed it shouldn't be a fashion faux paux to mix 'em up!
Basically the best (read: hunkiest) birthday pool side view I could hope for.
This is how a 31 year old enters a cold pool, if you didn't know. (You're welcome)...
Success! I made it in! I know you never doubted me.
Oprah and I have the same ideas about what it means to "relax".
A healthy and delicious birthday sweet-treat, made by B. The crust was a tasty blend of baked granola and trail mix, topped with vanilla yogurt and fresh fruits.
He stole the idea from the internets, but like.... what idea isn't these days?
The master of beer battered fish tacos (my dinner request!) at work....
So many cakes and candles to wish on!! I needed a moment to collect my thoughts (and also, wine).
And finally, a Sunday bonus birthday treat in the form of granted permission to mildly torture my love. I'm not entirely sure why this was so amusing to me, but boy did I cackle hard.
All in all, I feel like one lucky lady and am looking forward to the fresh adventures of my 31st lap around the sun.
I'm still working on a few more posts to address the handful of incredibly insightful, meaningful topics sent my way last month, so keep checking back to see how so very connected we all are!
love and light,
My friends and I talk a lot about not knowing what we're doing with our lives... there's just this pressure we put on ourselves to figure everything out and to have figured out what we're contributing to the world as though in our late 20's we should have everything dialed in.
Also, it bothers me that my job doesn't "give back". Can my job just be a job and I find stuff outside of work to fulfill my soul? How can a job define or not define who you are?
I love this question so very much, particularly because it feels like something I live every day -- if not with my clients, than in my own life.
Let’s start by addressing the second part of your question, because I sense this aspect might be greatly affecting the first. The twisted, aching feeling of all the shoulds or coulds in doing more (selfless?) good in the world? They sometimes keep me up at night, too.
An (exaggerated) truth for you, that may seem like an extreme example, but I get the feeling needs to be recognized: Not everyone is going to go so far down the path of worldly contribution, or service, or “giving back” so as to, say, uproot their lives to save children in Africa.
Honey, you probably won’t.
BUT if the drive is there, then by all means get on a plane tomorrow.
I really mean that. If the desire to do this kind of deeply giving work has tugged at your heart for long enough, then please -- sell most of your worldly possessions and buy your ticket immediately. I can hardly imagine an ounce of regret in greeting the world and a life purpose with this kind of whole hearted commitment.
I believe so much in you and this potential calling, in fact, I’ll give you homemade snacks for the flight and send postcards to whatever remote area you are blessing with your gifts! I will think good thoughts for you each morning that you’re doing the work most worth doing, and that it’s filling you up in ways you could never have imagined.
And still. You might not ever go, and the twisted, achy, guilty feelings continue.
The point is, how do we reconcile this? How do we find these kinds of depths of meaning and purpose -- of giving, of being of service, of knowing we shared our worth in helping others feel worthy -- in our lives right here?
As you say, a job can be just a job. A period of time spent each day making money to pay the bills. But that sounds so...sad. I don't really believe it is quite so black and white, though I do believe simply that no -- a job that pays your bills does not define who you are.
Sometimes I think we forget that every human interaction is just that -- one made with a human. A complicated, scared, happy, messy, joyful, searching, human.
Remember that kindness matters with these humans. It matters so, so very much. It matters more than most other exchanges and I beg you not to forget it’s power within the bits & pieces of every day -- even at just a job, no matter the job.
A simple strategy is to ask ourselves: How have I exercised kindness today? Towards others, myself, and the world?
Here is also what I know to be true/helps my anxieties take a breather (not quite as well as Xanax, but important none the less): Making something beautiful out of life can look like a thousand different things. It can take shape in a million different ways, and it can continue to shift and evolve until our final moments as the beings we currently are. No one can dictate what that ultimately looks like for you, or set a final goal post of “success”. I surely cannot. But I can let you in on a little secret. While bits & pieces of your life may seem of little significance in the moment, they can (and likely will) blessedly return to you later in life, this time served up as meaningful memories that changed or shaped or simply delighted you. Have we forgotten the importance of delight? Don’t count them out, these ordinary moments. Who knows how they will look down the road?
To address the first part of your email, I’ll tell you that I recently attended a speaker series run by a dear friend of mine. This month’s speaker was Zakiya Harris, one of the founders of Hack the Hood. I currently reside on the advisory board for this wonderful organization, so was thrilled to make a successful connection here.
Two of my favorite take aways from her regarding the desire and action of chasing work worth doing were:
“I didn’t start out thinking I’d be a serial entrepreneur -- it’s just that I’m only able to do the things I really love!”
“Don’t be afraid to be all of who you are -- there is no major in college that defines that.”
A person like Zakiya is so inspiring to folks like us because she has boldly gone after each idea with whole heartedness -- success or failure be damned. I can't speak for her, but I know many would say it’s just too scary, or risky to go after what your heart desires. I know even more who might say “I don't even know what the hell it is I do desire”. And that’s a pretty good place to start.
You possess the courage to ask questions like:
What if you were only able to do the things you love? What would they be? What could they look like? And most importantly, how would that make you feel?
And who are you, in entirety? At your most vulnerable, who are you and who do you most wish to become? Think of only yourself in this inquiry -- permission to tell every other voice or influence to f*ck off, granted. I promise you, it is so, so possible to be loved and appreciated because of these things...because of who you are...and not just in spite of them.
And here is how I think we can help each other move closer to our courageous, most soul-fulfilled selves, using my own life’s current scenario as an example….
When we’re speaking about my work (the kind that pays the bills & the kind that I’m still building) don’t ask me how many clients I have. I hate that question. It’s suggestive that my worth as a coach is tied to how many people are paying me money for my time, and I know you can do better. Does your respect level change if I say 4 vs. 14 vs. 40?
Ask me instead what my favorite part about coaching is. Ask me what I’m excited, or nervous, about next. Ask me how I think coaching is changing me, and I promise our dialogue will be exponentially more interesting for us both.
Imagine what is possible if we change the conversation. Imagine what is possible if we get curious about one another (and ourselves!) in loving, non-judgmental ways.
Can you imagine what this world would be like if everyone had it all “dialed in” before they made any move towards their best life? Good grief. I’d rather not.
Try being your whole self -- the one no college major or job title can frame -- and get back to me on what happens.
And, of course, let me know where to send those postcards.
With deep love & admiration,
Another essay of mine was picked up by elephant journal, this time about one of my favorite subjects: SUMMER.
I had no idea they posted it last week, so am a little sad to be late to the sharing game. But, I am trying to mostly be grateful for the chance to spread my deep rooted love of this season and its reminder of the meaningful ordinary of our lives.
I hope you enjoy it, and thank you for any re-posts, shares, forwards or likes! :)