"Work / life balance doesn’t just happen, it takes discipline, the ability to prioritize, and the ability to say No to the non-essential and Yes to life-honoring practices (like eating healthy food). Starting out in the working world, I never would have guessed how difficult this would be, and that I could only rely on one person to set these boundaries: myself." - A Couple Cooks
Ok, Ok. This is another iPhone pic. But man, a digital SLR sure is a pain in the tookus to haul around town. I'm open to suggestions for a smaller, non-phone choice and would love your thoughts! I feel as though I've asked this question before, and then did not heed your advice. Silly girl. But this time, I really am ready to listen!
So, the weather in SF has been pretty phenomenal. B actually told his buddy in Buffalo, NY this week "so it's almost 80 degrees warmer here than where you are..." and was speaking the truth. And because of this (which has been wonderful, of course, as the alternative of -20 degrees sounds like a cruel, cruel joke to me), no one told the cherry blossoms that flower so beautifully in my neighborhood that it's only a temporary glimpse of spring. For this particular photo, I stopped right beneath the tree just as a breeze picked up, sending a fluttering of pink petals all around me like a sweet scented, silky snow fall. I later found a single petal still stuck in my hair when I arrived to work, so I'd love to know what my bus companions thought about this accidental accessory. I'm not sure how long these pretties will last once the shift back to a bit of a chill happens, so I've been stopping to admire them as much as possible...even if it results in a bit of unintentional pink to my outfit :)
love and light,
The office has been passing around a nasty cough for weeks, and while I'm so grateful I avoided the bug over the holidays, it's officially my turn.
Not feeling so hot, my friends. I try to reserve cold meds for night time (I don't like the way they make me feel, but I appreciate when they help me sleep), so I stick to more holistic methods for comfor during the day.. Bringing in the big guns...
Our wonderful OM organized a fun in-house event for us last week that involved a professional Mixologist coming by to teach us a thing or two about creating the perfect cocktail. If you think about it, a Mixologist is like a libations expert version of a Joyologist....so...that's pretty cool, no?
My friend and fellow Weebly, Katie, and I ended up crafting a super delicious version of an Old Fashioned--even the mixologist said "Damn, you guys did really well!" after taking a sip! We didn't win the contest (Mike's use of a lavender sweetening agent was too divine to pass up), but we were quite pleased with our creation.
Trish and Katie's "Smooooth Operator" New-Old Fashioned Recipe
1.5 oz of Spirit (we chose Lemorton Reserve Calvados Domfrontais)
.25 oz of a sweetening agent (Sirop JM was our agent of choice)
A few dashes of bitters. Our mixologist explained this is like salting food--it not only balances the sweetness, but it pulls something enticing out of the cocktail. (We went with Amargo Chuncho)
An embellishment like a citrus peel--squeeze over the top of your drink, rind side out. We learned that lemons are brightening and lightening, orange holds on to richness, and grapefruit is a wildcard that works well with Agave. (Orange was the winner, and we ended up using two peels)
Pop in a large ice cube (check out Weebly site www.thewhiskeyball.com for the perfect ice making mold), stir quickly, and enjoy!
A beautiful birthday weekend was had with B's sister and brother in law--seaside sunsets, fresh oyster feasts, gorgeous hikes and lots of laughs at Nick's Cove and Pt. Reyes. I am so thankful Amy and Jake could join us for a few days of true California fun, as well as help me celebrate B as he heads off into his 29th year of adventure. I highly recommend Nick's Cove for anyone in need of a relaxing getaway--the food and lodging are both spectacular!
While this project only requires I post a single photo of our life per week, there are few other favorite shots I'd love to share. I hope your weekends were equally as enjoyable!
1. Amy and Jake take in the sunset from our patio
2. Oyster dinner at Nick's Cove
3. Walk on the pier
4. Me and the birthday boy
5. Bare feet
6. Naptime for B
7. Hiking Pt. Reyes
8. Hike destination: beautiful beach cove
9. Jake the adventurer
11. The cliff crawling crew--had to sneak this iPhone shot in
12. love this guy
13. So much fresh air
About two and half years ago I sat on the floor of the bedroom belonging to a young man I was sorta-maybe-what's actually going on-casually "dating", attempting to nonchalantly convince him he should stop seeing other people and try to focus on just me. He was a bit of a stereotypical modern day 20-something bachelor: lived with 2 single friends, was extremely financially successful, always called the shots, and was searching for something but probably didn't quite know what.
I sat on the floor of his bedroom and pretended it didn't hurt when he hesitated to respond, and (probably unconvincingly) shrugged it off when he told me he didn't think he could do that because...and I cringe quote..."I can't imagine turning down an opportunity to get to know someone better who has sparked my interest."
So I batted my eyes. And I played it "cool" (read: so uncool). And then, even after hearing his complete disinterest in anything beyond getting precisely what he wanted (my feelings be damned), I still encouraged him to attend a company trip to Tahoe with me, free of charge, as my date. We'll have fun!, I proclaimed, internally squashing down all my better judgements against such a proposition. I gave away all my power to this person, and it naturally ended up...ending. Unpleasantly.
Suffice to say, there is quite a bit of smh within this memory. Regrets o'clock, if you will.
Looking back now I am acutely aware that this was, at the time, a direct reflection of what I perceived my worth to be. You could look at this scene and mutter pathetic under your breath, and I wouldn't fault you. But I also have a lot compassion for this memory, as it helps me to see how my efforts to turn the page from being so needy for love to a story about cultivating self succulence were not exercised in vain.
Today is my wonderful boyfriend's 29th birthday. And I tell the above story because he came into my life at a very key turning point. After a few fumbled attempts at dating post divorce I took the advice of my beautiful friend Kelly by swearing off all prospects (from a quick drink, to a set up, to a casual group "thing", I was unavailable) and signing up for 4 months of glorious me, myself and I time. My self worth grew and grew; my trust in the process strengthened. And wouldn't you know, at the very end of those 4 months, B happened to message me on Facebook to catch up and well....the rest is history.
B is made of the good stuff. He's not the type to need to call the shots all of the time, and while he was hesitant to be exclusive at the start of our budding relationship due to the 3k distance between us, he always made sure to partner his indecision with kindness, patience, and respect. (And has since made up for that hesitance by diving head first into moving to my corner of the world). He never made me feel pathetic, and always made me laugh. He was (and is!) responsive, communicative, caring and loving. I knew in my heart that I could trust him, always; that through our ups and downs he would never go "radio silent" or shy away from vulnerable moments. He calls me on my crap, but also quickly forgives said crap. The crap is then joked about later, much to his delight.
He is my friend, my partner, my roommate and my love. I am thankful for my past relationship kerfuffles because I know they not only prepared me for B, but they pushed me to face and forgive some rather uncomfortable realities about myself. And that is something I have no regrets about.
So here is what I wish to tell my old single self, and perhaps the only piece of advice to other single folk I feel confident in giving: You are worthy. You are worthy of someone who does not abuse the unfortunate emotional powers behind technology and social media; someone who respects you as a human being, first, and acts in kind. You are worthy of a partner who takes you as you are, and works toward shared growth. You are worthy of a person who is ready to be with you. Do you understand that part? It was the hardest for me to accept. Because until you meet that person, you should embrace the chance to wholly, lovingly, joyfully be with yourself.
Happy Birthday, B! Thank you for being such a catch (and helping me feel like one, too).
Let the celebrations begin :)
love and light,
This is what Sundays look like in our home right now: B studying and me reading at the laundromat while we get our clothes smelling so fresh and so clean. Next home wish-list? Washer and dryer, please.
I admire B for many reasons, but am especially proud of him for working so hard to fulfill his dream of being the ultimate wellness guru; part personal trainer, part dietician, part strength and conditioning coach. It takes real courage (and a lot of effort, planning, juggling and executing!) to leave behind your existing degree and work experience to dive head first into what really makes your pulse race. We don't always get it right the first time (read: what the hell did 18 year old major-declaring me really know?), and there is certainly no shame in taking a second, third or fourth crack at discovering how your talents + inspirations + goals can = the ultimate career satisfaction.
I've been thinking about this so much recently it makes me a tad dizzy...I have been somewhat consumed by it, actually...and am still mulling over what has come up for me during my meditations and introspections on the subject matter. It's an uncomfortable place to be in presently; feeling deeply grateful for current opportunities in many ways, but also wildly unsettled with a growing disappointment in areas of feeling valued and supported while lacking creativity and spirit-boosting vibes.
Here's what I know for sure: There are things I need to work on, and there are things I need to work towards.
Where that will leave me?
I think I need a few more laundry days to decide.
“I’m very proud of my sister and protective of her....the one person I will fight for. Don’t talk about my sister; don’t play with me about my sister. If you do, you’ll see another side of me. I admire her, and though she’s five years younger than me, I strive to be like her. She’s so smart and secure. She’s sensitive to people’s feelings, but not afraid of what they think.” -Beyonce
I'm excited to launch a regular installment of TGL this week with a series called "A portrait of our life, once a week, every week, in 2014". I was inspired by a bloggess that I love to start this project and am already itching to get my SLR out more often for capturing small (or big) moments of this year for B and I.
This week's portrait is admittedly one from my iPhone, but it looked too pretty not to share. The Palace of Fine Arts is located just a few blocks from our apartment in the Marina district of San Francisco and was the perfect spot for a Sunday picnic. We were so relieved to come back to warm weather (sending sunny thoughts to my east coast frost bitten lovies!) that we decided to take advantage of finishing our errands early on Sunday (thanks, jet lag, for waking us up so early) to stroll over for an hour or two of sun worshipping, reading and people (and bird!) watching.
It's been so great getting to see SF through B's eyes these past few months; each landmark and token city treasure taking on a new, beautiful light. His sister and brother in law, whom I adore, will be coming for a visit in just a few days. We'll have to add this amazing spot to the must-see list, as I've officially been reminded of just how lovely it is.