Is anyone else oddly soothed by the sights and sounds of a fish tank? I could sit in a doctor's waiting room for hours, so long as they keep me next to a bubbling, humming, colorful Nemo sanctuary. In fact, since Weebly is growing so quickly (yay!), we have begun the process of searching for a new office...which means potential new amenities...which means everyone can make suggestions/requests of said amenities...which means I already maybe sorta purchased a mini treasure chest that opens and closes and matches the little mermaid who perches next to it and named one of the fish Pizza Party because, like, who doesn't love a pizza party?..... I digress. In case you feel the same way as me, here's a peek (no zoom used!) into the greatest (pun intended) tank of all.... Sigh.
Instantly soothed. In Gratitude, Trish During our sailing/snorkel trip to Green Island in the Great Barrier Reef last week (has it really been a week? where does the time go?) I got to talking to one of the guides, David, about life, travel, health and wellness. It turns out, we have a lot in common when it comes to how we view much of those topics, as well as a few others; particularly, living in the present moment. I gave him my email before departing the boat because, as a fellow writer, he wanted to potentially brainstorm some creative ideas for his in-progress work. I was flattered and happy to offer up some feedback. I received a note just a few days later. He signed it: stay free, david I guess there's really no other reason for me to be telling you this besides I can't believe it sometimes takes a virtual stranger to remind me, in the simplest of gestures, huh, I really *am* free...and to then take a moment to relish this truth deeply. To savor it. To feel almost lighter in remembering. Ask yourself: Are you free? And if not, why? love and light, Trish B and I landed around 10pm last night from Sydney (phew, epic flight, thank goodness for movies and melatonin) so I only have the strength of about 5 Tricia's today.
Thus, above you'll find a picture from our snorkeling trip in the Great Barrier Reef that features both my hand and a Blacktip reef shark. I figure if I can't offer much in terms of stories, musings or food for thought just yet...then I will show how much of a bad ass I am with proof that I swam with sharks on vacation (note: this kind of shark poses little to no danger to humans as it is categorized as timid and skittish). But still....I swam with sharks. Like a bad ass. Right? What day is it? In Sleepy Gratitude, Trish Guest Post by Julie M. Hello Grateful Life readers! My name is Julie and I blog over at Swim Bike Running on Empty. Trish and I have known each other since our Penn State days and I’m so glad she’s asked me to share a story with you all today. Life as we know it is unpredictable. I am a Type A to a T and no matter how much I try and plan my future something always seems to come along and…change things up. This past year, I committed to being more present. To live in the moment. And it’s a good thing I did, because life really threw me a curve ball when my husband was offered an amazing job in Edmonton (that’s right: Canada) that was far too good to pass up. So in July 2012, I resigned from my job. The job that I’d had for almost seven years, straight out of college. The job I loved and looked forward to everyday. The job that I felt practically defined me as a person. We sold our house in less than a day, moved in with my parents for a few weeks and then in late August, I hoped in the car with my mom and two dogs and we had the road trip of our lives as we drove from Pittsburgh to Edmonton. We stopped along the way to visit family and friends, and with the exception of Starbucks, existed entirely on food we had made and packed with us, i.e. no fast food. We drove through the Badlands, Mount Rushmore and Yellowstone. We hung out with elk in Jackson Hole. And we managed to only spend 2.5 hours at customs when crossing the border. But that’s another story for another time. Following a series of sanity-testing events, we slowly settled into life in Edmonton and I started to wonder what my future held. For months, I had been focused on the logistics of our move without thinking too far into the future. I was yearning for friends to call family in Edmonton and a routine.Something that doesn’t just happen overnight. As luck would have it, our road bikes were damaged in our move. (Thanks, movers, for literally tossing them from storage into the back of a moving truck with zero regard to their cost and care.) Thanks to Google, this led us to a bike shop down the street and around the corner that only leaves me to believe that someone up above has a plan, because before I knew it, we were at the shop a few times a week for spin classes, runs, coffee, pastries and great chats with people that would slowly start to become our Edmonton family. Fast forward a few months, and I have started a new marketing job in downtown Edmonton. I am regaining structure in my life but still lacking my sense of purpose. Until one day when it all seemed to just click. Now is the time to go after one of my life goals, I thought. Now is the time to become an Ironman. For those that aren’t familiar with the Ironman, it’s a triathlon consisting of the following: a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride and a 26.2-mile run. Some say it’s the most grueling – both physically and mentally – athletic event in the world, and I can’t WAIT to see what it brings for me. Finishing an Ironman is a goal that I’ve had since 2007 when I had the opportunity to be on the Ironman World Championship race course in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii, for work. Something inside me that day just felt alive. And when I saw athletes in their 80’s competing that day, I vowed (maybe out of spite?) that I, too, would compete in – and FINISH – an Ironman. So on August 25, 2013, I will line up at the start of Ironman Canada in Whistler, British Columbia, to race my heart out and fulfill one of my biggest goals in life. The road to the race won’t be easy. I’m averaging 20-25 hours per week training (which you can follow on my blog) and when I’m not swimming, running, biking, lifting, or doing yoga, I’m focusing on eating healthy, recovering correctly and sleeping. Ahhhh, sleep. But you know what? It will be worth it. Life works in mysterious ways. Just when I thought I may never find my niche, especially in a new country, everything came together and fell into place. While my job no longer defines me as an individual, I am able to pursue a passion of mine and make a new name for myself. And boy, am I glad for the opportunity to do so.
My challenge for you all is to seize the moment and trust that everything happens for a reason. You never know what new adventure awaits you if you open up and put trust in yourself to pursue your dreams… photo credit: yoga by the sea Please don’t let it be yoga….I silently prayed as we made our way along the beach at 6am on our last day in Australia. B had told me prior to leaving for our trip that he’d secretly planned a mini activity for us and I wasn’t to know anything more until right beforehand. I asked Noodle about it, he said excitedly, and she gave me the thumbs up! {Side note: Noodle = my gal pal Nicole, our lovely hostess while down under}. I’d had a hunch leading up to today that we’d be taking a sunrise yoga class by the water and at first I was overjoyed at this suspicion—it means so much to me that B has begun to show an interest in the practice (he took his first class last month at Weebly!), that he would be so thoughtful as to research options for our vacation and that he supports me in a if it means a lot to you, it means a lot to me kind of way. But when the alarm went off at 5:50am all of my good feelings on this little surprise were MIA. I was beginning to feel very anxious about going back to work, B leaving for the east coast, our long flight home, etc etc…Frankly, I just wanted to keep sleeping. Please don’t let it be yoga, I prayed, followed by a sigh of submission to seeing the class just ahead and a plastering on of what I like to call my best “Republican smile” (closed lipped, forced and mildly crazed looking). Feeling crunchy and cranky I unrolled my borrowed mat, looked over and snuck a peek at B settling into a seated position as best as his long, grasshopper-esque legs would let him. Tricia, I thought, this is a beautiful moment – get the eff over yourself and breathe deeply, gratefully, fully for the duration of the practice and just feel what you feel. Lean into your crunchy-cranky discomfort you dizzy broad and see what happens… After some sea-air filled deep breaths, cat-cow stretches and a few more mental grumbles at the harsher-than-I’m-used-to-instructor (I missed you, Lindsay!), I began to open my eyes and my heart to the moment. And then, as the rising sun slowly moved upward away from the glittering waves to greet the pink skies above, we began our sun salutations. We are all made up of water, light and vibrations of energy…Practicing in nature helps us to connect deeply within, especially as women, the teacher said. {Insert B awkwardly grinning amongst a class full of chicks—my main squeeze, wearing a cutoff, bright orange, Flyers t-shirt, getting in touch with his feminine side. What could be cuter?} Bring in the sunlight, she instructed; welcome it, let it feed and heal you. Hold it in your third eye for the duration of this practice… Sun salutations. At the beach. In Australia. With my boyfriend. To an actual rising sun. I mean…damn, right? After class we walked to a used bookstore in town called Gertrude and Alice that I’ve had my eye on all week for a bit of brekky (totally stealing this Aussie word for breakfast) and work. So here I sit. A cup of chai tea (the best I’ve probably ever had) in my hand, B flipping through his study flash cards to my left, used books stacked high all around me and a humbled, grateful heart beating in my chest. Sometimes we just need to get the eff over ourselves, you know? To accept exactly where we are in order to allow any negative, crunchy or cranky-ness to pass. To acknowledge we may not be where we want (ie cuddled in bed vs. walking to work out…total #whitegirlproblems, I know) but if we open ourselves to the moment and practice expanding our hearts in every experience, we are essentially allowing the peace found in accepting shaky groundlessness (ie stop fighting so hard for solid ground/footing—it never truly exists) to wash over our days, bringing great blessings along with it. Time to go soak up the last bits of Aussie sun, mates. See you back in the states…. Love and light, Trish Guest Post by Jessica Y. I am a hoarder, especially when it comes to clothing. I have tried to live a hoarder free life but for some reason I have never been able to resist buying a bright colored pair of flats, a vintage 70s dress, or a pair of Levi's (I currently own 17 pairs). In February, I moved into a much smaller place, where I had to downsize my life in half and it wasn't till I started packing that I became aware of how much clothing I really owed, and more importantly how much of it I’ve never really worn. Seriously, why must a girl own 9 identical brown cardigans?! Although it felt rewarding downsizing my wardrobe, I still had a hard time letting go of all the clothes I never wore. During this process, I thought of some fun, creative ways to make sure all my clothes could be given a second life, and I wanted to pass them along to all of you grateful readers! 5 ways to give your clothing a second life: 1. Throw a clothing swap party! Invite your friends over and have them bring their unwanted clothing, put out some snacks and drinks, and swap around. Everyone leaves home with great "new" pieces. 2. Turn your clothing into a DIY project! My friend in New York recently sent me a photo of how she took her unwanted dresses and tops and turned them into home decor using embroidery rings! Pintrest is a good place to look for other ideas like this. 3. Sell and Trade
- Crossroads and Buffalo Exchange are great places to get some extra cash for your unwanted clothing, or get store credit and update your wardrobe. I always wind up finding great scarves, purses and jewelry at these consignment shops. 4. Give a gift! One year for my birthday my friend gave me the cutest dress, it was a dress that I had always borrowed from her when we lived together years back. Every time I wear it I always think of all the good times we've had. 5. Donate! There are great alternative places to donate your clothing: Out Of The Closet is a second hand store who's proceeds go to benefit the Aids Healthcare Foundation and Dress For Success is a non-profit organization that provided suits and interview development to women, it's a great place to donate your unwanted work clothes. I encourage you all to shop smart, and think of the lifecycle of a garment when you make a purchase. xoxo, Jessica Y. Guest Post by Lindsey P. When I first sat down to write this post, it was tough picking which thing-that-I-am-grateful-for to share with you all. Then I thought about Trish, and I knew this post had to be about laughter. Trish cracks me up. We are part of a book club, and I have been known to cry from laughing so hard at some of the things she says. Tons of studies have been done on the health benefits of laughing - even WebMD agrees, so it must be true, right? I am definitely grateful for every chuckle, snort and guffaw. So in no particular order, here are a few things (other than Trish) that are guaranteed to make me laugh: Arrested Development Probably the funniest show ever. Have you seen it? Even if you have, watch it again and you'll catch a new joke. I am beyond excited for the new season airing on Netflix this May. Also it inspired me to buy this tea. Watch 'The Sword of Destiny' and you'll understand... Friends who laugh at the same dumb things you do. It was recently a friend's birthday, and the night evolved into a celebration featuring favorite things past and present. Cue the unicorn shirts, pastel sunglasses, Guinness cake, BBQ, martinis and Brad Pitt movies. And balloons! When someone else finds the same weird thing funny, laughter seems to snowball. My own clumsiness I have the unfortunate luck of frequently spilling things (food, drinks, glitter), as well as tripping. I've dumped juice, pasta, a burger and a raspberry tart inside my purse at one time or another. I once broke my foot while skipping. And while that wasn't funny at the time, thinking now about how ridiculous that sounds makes me chuckle. This little lady. My family's dog, Chauncey, is CRAZY (she barks her head off if anyone outside of my immediate family is in the house, and will chase tennis balls until her feet fall off). She is also crazy funny. She will bark at her own reflection in the mirror, she likes to play hide and seek (where you hide one of her toys and she has to go look for it) and she makes so many different noises I swear she's trying to talk. I'm sure all of you other pet owners will agree, having a pet is a definite source of amusement. Pitbull Have you ever listened to this guy? I mean really listened? Hilarious. He rhymes Kodak with Kodak. Ok, confession, some of the songs I like in more than an ironic way, but if I'm having a bad day putting on some of his music is a guaranteed smile. Also, he wears pants that look uncomfortably tight. So what about you, Grateful Life readers? What's the best way to get you to laugh?
Guest post by Brooke
As everyone who has ever read the Grateful Life knows, Trish is… hokey. This is not an insult or an accusation, but it is how Trish describes herself, and it is true. She asks her readers to “manifest” their dreams. To make dream boards. To try to make others’ spirits feel big rather than small. She talks of a greater good, self-love, and the power of the universe. Eye Roll. I adore Trish – she has become one of my best friends and I am honored to call her one of my bridesmaids for my wedding in May. I read GL religiously. But come on. This stuff all sounds so hippie-dippy to me. Trish's co-workers, family, and friends - myself included - love to tease her for her new age-y outlook on life, and thankfully, she always takes it with a smile. But every once in awhile, while Trish and I are hashing out our thoughts on one situation or another, she will get a glint in her eye, smile, shake her finger at me, and say “See! You are just as hokey as I am!” And she’s right. One of the reasons we get along so well is we both see life generally the same way – we just have different ways of describing it. Here are some of my core beliefs: 1. I believe that people are generally good – or that most of us truly try to be, for the sake of our own consciences. (How many lost iPhones and wallets have I had returned to me by good Samaritans? Too many to admit here without embarrassing myself.) 2. I believe we make our own luck. I believe I have gotten where I am in life not just because of the hand I have been dealt, but more importantly because of my positive outlook and the way I handle what life throws at me. There is no one out there who can affect my life more than I can. 3. I believe confidence and optimism are the keys to getting ahead in life. There are very few successful people who say that they doubted that they would be successful or that they had the talent to get them there. No good ever came from thinking negatively, but a whole lotta good can come from thinking positively. 4. I believe that we cause most of our own conflicts. While there are obviously times that something bad happens to us out of our own control, I find that most often, I did something to cause my own bad situation, or reacted in a way that only made the situation worse. I believe that holding grudges is a bad practice (preach it, Kim W.), when most people are out there just trying their best. No one is perfect, and holding a grudge has never made anyone feel better. Your own life is a lot better when you learn to let go, and forgive. 5. I believe that everything happens for a reason – or rather, that it is what has happened in the past that leads to what is happening in the present and what will happen in the future. Cause and effect. I believe that we should learn from the past to make better, smarter choices for the future. Do you ever have any regrets in life that you wish you could go back and change? Even if it would change everything about your life today? I don't. It is exactly those missed chances that led to the life I am living today. That all sounds pretty non-hokey to me. But really, aren’t I just saying that I believe in manifesting one’s dreams? That self-love has gotten me where I am today? That there is indeed a greater good, and that we should forgive others, as we are all just trying our best? Whoa. Hold me back before I go make myself a dream board! Here is something I haven't yet admitted to Trish - ever since she asked me if I want to make someone's spirit feel big, or feel small - I have been doing just that. I can be a pretty sarcastic person, and have been known to make a joke or two that accidentally hurt someone's feelings. But lately, when I have been about to make a comment like that, I ask myself, will this joke make this person's spirit feel big? Or will it make it feel small? And if I decide it might make their "spirit" feel small, I don't say it. Even though sometimes I might find some of Trish's language hokey, it turns out she is giving some very practical advice that even a realist like me can learn from. Guest Post by Kim W. In Part One of this post I gave an example of how I was secretly holding a grudge. Below are the full details of the lies I tell myself to cover up my nasty grudges. Secret Grudge 1: Personal Interpretation As discussed in Part One, my husband might think that he’s said something innocuous, but oh no, my wise lady parts know better. I am therefore obliged to explain what he really means, which is usually not so innocuous. Example: "Bozo said he didn’t like my clown makeup, therefore he thinks I’m ugly." Rationalization: I know what he really meant. I’m a people-person, I read people. When people speak, I listen carefully, and I truly understand the subtle message behind their words. We are so strictly bound by formalities that people aren’t free to say what they really mean. I hear the truth. I’m empathic. The Insidious Truth: No, you’re not. Perhaps you may actually be sensitive to what’s going on under the surface, but you cannot use empathy as an excuse to take things personally. Or to layer your own interpretation on someone else’s intention. In The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz says, don't take anything personally: "Nothing others do is because of you... When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering." I cling to my own interpretation of other’s words. When I recall an event, I don’t play back what really happened, I recall my version of events. Which is usually more hurtful than reality. When I hold on to that hurt, I’m creating a grudge from thin air.
Secret Grudge 2: Keeping a List I can recite, without pause or breath, every single word of negativity anyone has ever said to me. Ever. Back to the first grade. It may be my super-hero power. Example: "Bozo said my juggling was sub-par, and that my red nose was so last season, and that no one could mime his way out of a box like him." Rationalization: I’m just telling it how it is. I’m not adding my own opinion to what Bozo said, I’m just reporting. Just the facts, ma’am. Wouldn’t want to forget any of those horrible, soul-crushing nasties, now would I? This is just good record keeping. Nothing to see here. Move along, move along. The Insidious Truth: No way in hell am I an unbiased observer of the events of my life. There is no journalistic integrity when it comes to your friends and family. I don’t want to to acknowledge the emotional undercurrent, so instead I focus on the easy part: 'the facts'. They sure are a lot easier to gossip about. Reliving the play-by-play bypasses a lot of necessary introspection. Sometimes the introspection leads to realizing the word or action wasn’t so bad, and I can let it go. Or introspection shows me that, in fact, it was that bad, and it’s best to bring it up with the person in question. But skipping that introspection, can quickly lead to keeping a ‘grudge list’. Secret Grudge 3: Conditional Demands All I ever want out of anyone is a heartfelt apology. I crave apologies. I’d shoot apologies directly into my veins if I could. Other people may want something else, like recognition, or someone admitting they were wrong, or even a hug. Example: "If Bozo would just admit he had no place taming that lion, we could put this all behind us." Rationalization: It would be so damn easy if he just did admitted it. How can Bozo not know he was wrong? How can Bozo not see it? How can Bozo not do this one simple thing!? One day Bozo will see the error of his ways and everything will be ok. The Insidious Truth: No, he won’t. Well, perhaps he’ll have a near death experience as he falls into the jaws of that lion, and his flash of insight will be, "I should have apologized". But it’s unlikely. What’s more likely is that Bozo doesn’t know he’s hurt you (or he does and his own personal hurt makes him feel justified in his actions) and you’re carrying around this secret demand, letting it pollute all your interactions. It’s ok to want something from those you love, but it’s not ok not to hold a the relationship hostage in exchange for an apology ransom. Either you fess up and say, this is what I need from you for a healthy relationship, or you let the grudge go. And there you have my three secret grudges. You’ll notice there aren’t many suggestions for how to stop holding a grudge. But for me, just calling a spade a spade, and not rationalizing it as something else, has helped immensely. With the people that truly matter, I day-dream less about spontaneous mea culpas. With those that don’t matter, I let the grudge go and let them out of my life. If you’re wondering, “Hey, does Kim hold any grudges against me?” the answer is, damn right I do. I hold unnecessary, secret grudges against everyone. But I’m working on it. Unless you’re that Bozo guy. That guy is a real jerk. Guest Post by Kim W.
I told my husband I was going stand up paddleboarding with a group of friends. He said it sounded fun. “You can come if you want”, I said. We both love water sports but he was, as usual, working that weekend so I didn’t expect him to say yes. He thought about it and said, “It’s ok, I’ll just go work and make us some money instead”. And so commenced Married Couple Cagematch Throwdown Spectacular 2013. Are you readdyyyy toooo rummmbblllee? I was hurt - the implication was that I didn’t contribute to our relationship financially. Which is strictly true (he does and always will make more than me because he’s a nerd in silicon valley). He was being honest - he was sad to not go paddleboarding, but consoled himself with his (admittedly awesome) work ethic. To support my case, I cited previous 'examples' of his 'opinions' that he had never properly 'apologized' for. This incident was just the latest in a string of comments that showed a deep resentment towards my much smaller income. I offered my evidence to the court and established a very nasty pattern of behavior. What a good little lawyer I would be, I thought. With the patience of a saint, he explained that he didn’t think those things at all, and I was putting my own spin on this and past events. My catalogued list of unforgiven sins turned out to mostly be a reflection of my own unaddressed hurt feelings. MCCTS2013 didn’t shine a spotlight on his true intentions. My well-reasoned arguments were nothing more than well-disguised grudges. It was very hard to admit I was keeping grudges. I’m a pretty forgiving person, usually to the point of excess. I’ve been known to suggest that dictators and despots might not be so bad with a few antidepressants and a good hug. However, I do hold a mighty grudge when my feelings have been hurt. Then I dig in and clamp down, reliving and reworking all the perceived wrong that I have suffered. Being hurt by something my husband said is ok. Being hurt, and holding it against him instead of addressing the issue, is bad. Being hurt, holding it against him, and calling that anything other than a grudge, is the worst. The more I thought about it, the more I was forced to admit I was hoarding a pile of secret grudges. Tomorrow in Part 2, I’ll confess my three ways to hold a secret grudge. Read Part 2 here. |
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