Last Friday we took a stroll over to a token SF weekly event, Off the Grid, for some beers and tasty food truck fare. The crowd was generally young, fun and excited to be dining outdoors despite the chill our beloved Bay brings in each evening. It was our first time attending this mini party in our neighborhood, which surprised me to realize considering how long it's been happening.
I've said it before, but an ultimate white girl "problem" of living in such a crazy spectacular city is that there are always so many damn things going on, it's slightly overwhelming (both physically and often financially). But something interesting I've picked up in my coaching courses to help combat this flustery, potentially FOMO inducing, feeling is the simple inquiry of "what are you going to say yes to? and what are you going to say no to?" -- each of equal importance when brainstorming, planning, and then fully living what you truly want. Fact is, to hit the sweetest spots of life, you'll have to say yes to things that kindasortareally scare you. And, you'll have to say no to things that do not serve you--either as a whole, or just for right now, when the mover and shaker pieces of your being have goals and dreams and great joy to reach (and also when the quiet parts of your soul ache to simply be still). When honoring your best life possible, whatever that may look like for you, both yes and no are simply and intricately necessary. What will I say yes to, and what will I say no to? Food for thought, as I head into my 30's... love and light, Trish
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You guys.... 23/52 was a really good week for me. My supremely supportive circle of friends keeps asking me to share the story of my meeting Tristan Prettyman, my favorite singer, songwriter, blogger of all time (besides Stevie Nicks...omg, can you imagine if Stevie had a blog?! I digress...), but in all honesty I was so happy and flustered to say hi to this hippie-surfer-yogi-fashionista-lover-of-life that I walked away feeling like I made a total dork of myself. You know those moments, right? When you try to replay your nervous interactions with folks in your head and end up saying to yourself, about yourself, something along the lines of: Anyway, for your amusement only do I share what little I remember of this brief but delightful moment: Me, walking up to TP: Hi! You are so beautiful, and I am a sweaty, Jersey, Italian mess right now. (...this story is off to a great start, don't you think?) TP, laughing: Awe girl, I'm sweating too! Me, willing myself to stop sweating: No, no, you have a reason to be, you just performed. I'm just a mess. TP, still laughing. Me: Ok, so I just have to say thank you for being so vulnerable in all that you do, it's so inspiring. TP: Awe, thank you! Me: some other ramblings I don't remember, an awkward joke or two TP, still being polite and listening/laughing: You're so funny! Like a Zoey Deschannel! Me: Oh gosh, you're too sweet. Also, thank you for being a bit of a compass for leading me to this hunky mancake {points to B, who is patiently trying to take our photo}...He took me to see you perform at Christmas time as a surprise, and I knew any guy that will sit besides me singing Madly, Madly, Madly, is someone to hold on to! TP, turning to B and pointing to me: This one is a keeper! Did he put a ring on that finger, yet?! Me: Not yet, but whatevs, he's still dreamy! {jokingly winks and finger-guns at him} OK, I've held you up, would you mind taking a normal photo? ..."normal" photo taken... Then B came over and said "I have to give you a hug!", which she graciously reciprocated while I said...outloud, and to my horror as it was happening..."I always tell him that you're the only person I would understand him leaving me for!". TP: Girl, I'm engaged! Planeguy {fiance's nickname}...He's here tonight, actually! Me: Oh right, right! Of course. Yay, congrats! ...and that's all I remember. In summary: 1. Tristan was as lovely as any fan could hope she'd be. Which, I must say, was so refreshing. 2. Zoey Deschannel is an incredibly kind reference to my awkward. 3. Brandon wins all the boyfriend points for not only accepting all of my ZD awkward-ness, but for celebrating it, too. And after all of that, social media reassured me I didn't make such a bad impression... Pretty f*cking pumped to close out my 20's with that :) Peace, Love and Tacos, Trish PS -- this is cute, even though B looks sleepy (or high?), so I'm sharing: Post red-eye sleepiness/puffiness aside, I love this photo of my baby sis and myself from last week.
After surprising me by taking off work and picking me up when I landed at the bright eyed hour of 6am, this little lady then started our day together with my favorite east coast brekkie of coffee and bagels. We spent the morning at the barn where she rides horses and I was fortunate enough to see her take a few laps around the ring. She's incredible to watch -- so smooth and natural on such powerful creatures. You can sense how deeply this passion has become a part of her very makeup, far beyond just a hobby, and I envy the peaceful energy she exudes as soon as she steps from the car onto the dirt. If I'm honest, I was kind of a mess on this trip. One of my best friends is due with her first child (on my birthday!) and I cried no less than 4 times while hanging out with her. Just glancing at her perfectly pregnant belly sent me into a spin of lovey-dovey emotions, which is saying quite a lot since pregnant bellies typically weird me out. I cried 2-3 times during my trip with Jenny to Philadelphia for our beautiful Noodle's wedding, wanting to hug everyone in attendance regardless of whether I knew them or not (thankfully Jenny was a weepy mess, too -- criers love company, after all). I then fought to stifle tears when my darling Aubrey drove me to see the foundation of her new house being built out, because she would have laughed at me to see my crying and I was attempting to play it cool for once in our 20+ years of friendship. And then I even cried in the car with sister when I tried (and failed) to casually say how proud of her I am. I could barely get the words out, and it felt so important to say them because I am. So, so proud. You guys -- I'm choking up again now just remembering all of these moments. The thing is, there's something about spending time with folks from my non-California days that really hits me in my ultra soft spots. There's something about simply allowing myself to feel whatever is coming up in the most full, intense, and salty ways it wants. When I'm around these women, it feels so damn fulfilling...so safe, loving, and real... that I quite literally bubble up and over. How did I get so lucky?, I think. How do I hold these wonderful relationships, and the energy they give me, inside my heart and carry them with me everywhere? How do I make sure they never doubt my loyalty and commitment to their complete happiness, no matter what that looks like? Seeing each of these beauties grow into strong women--starting families, growing families, following passions, building futures-- brings me much joy. It is an honor to be a part of their journeys, and a blessing to have them woven into mine. In short-- I think I happy-cried so much last weekend because, truthfully, I don't ever want to take these people for granted. I don't want to take any of it...my whole life...for granted. This is a life worth loving on both coasts (and everywhere in between and beyond), because it is so very alive. Grateful hardly feels like the tip of iceberg some days, you know? love and light, Trish Memorial Day weekend was spent soaking up the sun, BBQ'ing, and (unfortunately) fighting off a cold that hit me like a ton of bricks on Saturday morning. I am still pretty congested and starting to have mild anxiety about getting on a plane tonight for a red-eye flight (1st of 5 east coast weddings = goodbye, all of my monies!)...but I am chugging oj, tea, Emergen-C and actually feeling the best I have in several days right now. My beloved Jenny is my date to this Philly wedding, so I am thinking all of the positive thoughts I can muster that our westie bestie trip doesn't get tainted in the slightest from a bad case of the boogers. (TMI? My bad). And, simply because this pic needs no introduction beyond "A man and his meat".... (you're welcome, ladies...)
Gratefully, Trish Playing with some editing on this one...
Sleepy B, after a bachelor party weekend in Vegas with all of his very best friends. I 'spose this is how the best man should feel after organizing a weekend of...well...whatever it is that young men do at these things. (I don't want/need to know). Meanwhile, I spent the weekend at school, soaking up all the coaching knowledge my little heart can hold. Because really, you can check your over analyzing, problem solving brain at the door with these classes. (ps--anyone want to be my client while I learn?) I don't think our weekends could have been more different if we tried. Glad to have him home and (mostly) alive, though ;) Gratefully, Trish A lovely week was spent with my dear friend from high school, soaking up some California sunshine and catching up on the years since we last rocked LHS red & white cheerleading skirts (and maybe wishing we could still fit in them...).
Besides eating, eating, and eating some more (Ouch, my tummy, was frequently muttered as we changed back into our stretch pants) our days were spent giggling, heart-to-hearting, and "remember when"-ing....the stuff that old friendships are made of. Thanks for traveling out west to see me, honey. I hope we get to adventure someplace new again soon! In Gratitude, Trish Post Kentucky Derby party (hence the fabulous "I have monies and horses and juleps" outfit), I took B for a quick scenic spin around Marin.
He looks so cute in general (not many man folk can pull off such oh-so-pink shorts), but I especially love how happy he seems in front of the SF backdrop. He has truly embraced his move west since day 1, and I think the west has embraced him pretty kindly in return. We've decided to move home soon after he finishes school, so the clock has officially begun ticking on our time here. This makes me both sad and also hopeful; a chapter to close, and a new adventure to begin. Saying farewell to a joyful, rewarding, life bravely created far from all that I've known, but returning to a life of great, unexplainable, unshakable love and comfort. Bittersweet, indeed. Gratefully, Trish Me and Beebs, soaking up a bit of sunshine on an old picnic blanket by the Bay. We read our respective books...mine a heart opening fiction, his a brain cramping biology text...while people (and dog!) watching, sipping on a cold Foster's (they were on sale, so why not?). The wind began to pick up after about an hour, so we snuggled in close (though I never need a windy excuse to weasel my way into his nook) and cherished that our backyard is a place where folks from around the world adventure out to see.
Sometimes, mostly during completely ordinary moments like this, I look at B and say out loud in my most annoyed voice "Ugh. I love you so much it makes me SICK." before continuing to go about my business, leaving him confused on how to reply. "Sorry..but thanks? I love you, too?" Sure, that works. Loving him doesn't actually make me sick, of course, but it sure as hell makes me vulnerable. And occasionally, vulnerable feels the same as "sick": anxious, worried, unsure of self...swirls, spirals, and uncomfortable trips down slopes of fear and insecurity. Damn those slopes and their evil ways. I was not born with skiis on! Remember what happened the last few times you loved big, they say. Let's think of all that could go wrong, because that sounds fun to me and I have one sick interpretation of fun. Like Glennon tells us: Love is hard. (To which I say Psssh, yea girl. Love can be like, really freaking hard. Try doing it on stressful days in 500 square feet of you're-in-my-face studio space.) But she also tells us: Love always wins. And this is Bible/Quran/Torah/Spirit/Universal truth. (Hence 500 square feet of wholeness, safety, and fun.) So when vulnerable starts to load me up on a sleigh, ready to push me down a steep hill of fear...when vulnerable starts to take me away...shield me... from my afternoon in the sun with a man whom I adore so deeply it makes me feel alive, thankful, and wonderfully open to possibilities...when vulnerable makes me feel physically uneasy to the point of shaky nerves and negative self talk, I run through some of the following pieces of advice I'd give to any of my other love sick friends (pssst--that's many of you!):
Keep loving, Trish (But seriously...Sophia...amirite?) The most perfect Sunday was spent playing tour guide to my buddy (and photographer for this week's Portrait of our Life series!), Clint. He's one of the most funny, genuine, smart, caring and loyal friends I have ever had the blessing of knowing. He's a huge reason why I adore my PSU memories so much, and a reminder that there are good, honest, wonderful men out there. (Sorry, ladies, his wifey is total catch status!)...
It was an absolute joy to spend the day with him, soaking up sunshine and breathing in fresh sea air. I have been majorly aching for east coast pals lately, so this little fix did just the trick to help bring a bit of my Jersey soul back to life again. Thanks for the wholehearted company, buddy, and the awesome photos to prove it :) I'm a week behind on the Portrait of Our Life series, but figured this little gem should make up for my lapse.
About once a month (sometimes more, if I'm lucky) I meet up with these ladies for a happy hour or coffee date. It's usually just us 3, though occasionally we are joined by a guest star. The reason why I post this silly picture to represent a week in my 2014 life (I took about 32 shots of them and they still couldn't agree on a TGL worthy version, so I went with the one that makes me giggle the most--sorry, gals!) is because, quite frankly, these monthly dates have become a life line for me. No matter what may be swirling around me, spending a few hours with Sara and Meggie lifts my spirit in ways that I have only really experienced from my most valued long term female relationships. It's so easy to be with them. It's playful and silly, but it's also a completely safe space to connect, hash out, break down, analyze, feel lighter, be free, advise, console, and love. They are east coast souls with west coast vibes, and I adore every moment of our get-togethers. They continuously heal me so much, in fact, that I can physically see the approval on B's face when I mention I have a date with them! My gosh, I am so thankful for these two. I hope everyone has this kind of life line, too. Gratefully, Trish My first weekend of school starts this Friday and boy, I sure am nervous/excited. This decision was a long...long...time in the making, though, and there is something really satisfying about finally committing to furthering your education as an adult after mulling over your true desires for awhile. As I'm sure we all know, both financially and time-wise it can be a BIG commitment to choose a new path that includes classes, exams and life managing in a way that is very different from the days of 19 year old you in college. Because really, what the hell did 19 year old me know about what she truly wanted? (Other than boys, beer, football and freedom, of course.) In a way I think it's sort of better. It's more...solid. A bigger risk, perhaps, as there is often more at stake. But it is also like a courageous nod to our ever expanding spirits that says you're worth it. And that in and of itself is a pretty positive reason to take the leap.
In Gratitude, Trish Friday after work I spent a little time by myself at an Italian cafe in North Beach-- just me, a Nutella latte, and a chocolate filled pastry so delicious I had to force myself to take breaths in between bites. I was waiting for a ride home from B (not taking the bus on a warm Friday evening = heaven) and decided to pop into the cafe for a bit of reading and unwinding me-time. The cafe stereo played a perfect mix of 60's classics and Motown favorites; I found myself unable to resist quietly singing along while swaying my body to the likes of Marvin Gaye's Too Busy Thinking About My Baby. I read a portion of The Desire Map and let my mind wander, sometimes gazing out onto the sidewalk to watch the eclectic mix of folks bustling, strolling, walking hand in hand. San Francisco has the best people watching.
I stayed for only an hour or so, then joyfully hopped into the car with my man to head home for some cooking, wine and more music playing happily in the background. Our tiny home is always filled with Van Morrison, Stevie, Bon, Otis and whomever else suits our fancy at the moment--I'm so grateful for our mutual love of music. It was a quiet, fairly uneventful Friday evening. But it was also such a peaceful, relaxing and genuinely pleasurable way to end the work week that I might just have to make a routine of this--Honoring exactly what I want to be doing (in this case, freely licking sugary crumbs off my spoon and day dreaming near an open window in a wonderfully sweet smelling cafe) and not what I think, at 29, I should be doing (meeting friends, running errands, bar scene, etc) in a busy city. Danielle LaPorte asks one important question over and over in The Desire Map: How do you want to feel? For me, last Friday pretty much sums it up. love and light, Trish Breakfast (for dinner!) is served! Brekkie for din is one of my go-to favorites on a busy work night. I ate it so often in college, in fact, that I'm pretty sure my younger sister once refused to come over and visit me unless I prepared an alternative dish. "OK, but only if you don't serve pancakes again." Oopsies. We saw this recipe for oat pancakes with chia seeds, flax, eggs and plain Greek yogurt in my most recent issue of SELF magazine, courtesy of chef Katie Lee. We decided to give it a whirl last night with a side of scrambled eggs and a bit of celebratory bubbly because a) Brandon was accepted into his RD program (YAY!) and b) we had lovely company...(hi Katie!).... The dish turned out quite tasty when topped with pure maple syrup and lots of fresh berries. I'd recommend this to anyone looking for some variety (and protein) in their brekkie....or dinner!
In Gratitude, Trish Relaxed on the beach, glass of wine in one hand and gooey, sweet s'mores in the other. Best friend nestled next to me, sharing laughs and cherishing the sound of the crashing waves just a few yards away.
When a colleague asked me how it was seeing my college roommate this weekend after spending 3 (unnecessary) years apart, I could only summarize our visit by simply saying "I fell in love with her all over again." There are many degrees of female friendship in this world. I myself would say I am blessed to celebrate a variety of women who have touched my life and continue to bring joy and light, understanding and kinship to my days. Some friendships are my go-tos, while others might be less expected. Some have a long and detailed history, and some have a lighter vibe. I love them all in their own unique ways, of course, but the kinds that are my absolute favorites are the ones you don't ever, ever have to doubt. Those that have seen you at your most vulnerable and have embodied the core of empathy in their compassionate reception; that have acknowledged your "weird" and proudly reciprocated by showcasing their own in kind. The friends that make me fall in love with them time and time again simply by being themselves and holding space for me to be me? These are the ones to hold on to...(and the ones I better not have to wait another 3 years to hug again...) In Gratitude, Trish The Chinese New Year is celebrated big time here in San Francisco, so we were happy to join our dear friends for an evening of parade viewing and firecracker burns avoiding last week. It's crazy how Chinatown already feels like another corner of the world nested in the heart of this city regardless of the holiday, and it was even crazier to see how deeply old and new Eastern traditions are carried out here in the west of the west.
To be honest, the parade was...OK. Once you see one colorfully decorated dragon being pranced around the streets by a dozen out-of-breath people, you've kinda seen them all. I did enjoy giggling along with the masses of cutie patootie kids all dressed up and dancing, but in terms of needing to make the effort to attend again next year...I think we're good (especially B, whom I could tell would have slept standing up behind me in the parade crowds if there weren't so many snap crackle pop sounds exploding all around us). He's a good sport :) Happy New Year! Trish |
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