Only a few pages into Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are and I can already tell this book is precisely what I'm needing to get lost in right now.
I have this mental image of my spirit (my heart, my soul, my sacred space of just lil ol' me) that includes a small flame of sorts. Sometimes the fire is blazing; I'm energized, inspired, alive to the fullest and feeling as if love and light are pouring effortlessly from me, just begging to be shared with others. And sometimes, the flame is teeny tiny. More of a pilot light than an actual flame, in fact. A bunsen burner as opposed to a hearty camp-fire with s'mores and sing-a-longs.
This flame is always burning to some degree (even in the darkest days of my life it never fully went out), but there are just times when it feels like I have to tend to it a bit more gently than others. Protect it like a mama lion; nurture it back to the strength and power I know it can achieve.
Right now I feel a bit more on the pilot light side of the spectrum (hence my super sad lack in blogging). To be clear--nothing is "wrong". Life is actually A-OK and trucking along as smoothly as one could hope for. There is much to be grateful for. But I have learned over the years that when my little flame is feeling tired, it is far more essential for me to simply love it as is...to give it time and space to be; to feel it is enough...than it is for me to poke and prod at it, forcing it to be something it's not, which really only burns me (and sometimes other people) in the end.
I think everyone has this flame inside them; an urgency to live your best life, to shine as brightly as you possibly can. But if you're anything like me, achieving this can sometimes feel like a lot of extra, unnatural work.
So I'm taking my time in tending my fire right now, and my hope is we can all remember that piling heavy logs of plans, promises, and over-commitments only serves to suffocate a flame, while giving it some breathing room...some fresh air...every once in awhile encourages it to roar once again.
love and ever growing light,