In conclusion: I did it! Woot! Hooray! I'm alive! Ego in tact!
With my bff by my side (along with 2 other super amazing women who were also first timers) I returned to the Circus Center (butterflies full force flapping in my tummy) and gave trapeze the ol' college try.
Truthfully, there was no reason for me to compare myself to Kim or any of her class mates; clearly these folks had been practicing for years. And more importantly, they had each, at one time, all been beginners just like me. I had built a sense of competition up in my own head; it didn't exist outside of this funny little noggin. I was simply competing with my own ego and it was time to take the ego out of the game.
I love what Kim said about the rewards in taking a leap, particularly the sense of pride in accomplishing something with a little courage. She told me to expect my sense of pride to grow after a few days, and she was dead right. Each person I showed my video to in the days following our adventure made my spirit feel bigger and bigger with their whoas! awesomes! so badass's!.
An old friend once told me, flat out, there was nothing in his life he'd ever felt particularly proud of--no accomplishment, no reached goal, no good deed, etc. "What do you mean?", I said, "you went to law school, have a successful career, traveled the entire world for a year...there is plenty you have done that is worthy of feeling proud of."
"Those are all things anyone can do. Those are things that lots of people already do, actually." he replied. "It may be a bit more difficult for someone else, logistically or financially speaking, but realistically anyone could accomplish those kinds of things. I can't think of anything I've done that is especially...well...special. So no, there is nothing I've ever felt truly proud of myself about."
This really bummed me out. I mean how sad is that--denying the joy found in a self high-five because of the perceived level of "special"? I prefer to argue the opposite: Every day we face the world, take a risk, accomplish a goal (big or small) or open our hearts to another, we should be proud of ourselves. Each time we get back up, try something new, stretch outside our comfort zones or face a challenge, we should be proud of ourselves. Giving yourself credit doesn't have to solely exist in special "success"; giving yourself credit can begin with the courage of try.
So, with my head held high and a nervous smile on my face (fear instantly weakens when you face it with a smile) I took my turn. One of my secrets of success? Master the art of fake it 'til ya make it...
After a few more leaps it was time to try a "catch" (any Sex and the City lovers know this from Carrie's turn on the ol' trapeze bar)....
Watch how I did below! And pardon the f-bomb dropped by my videographer ;)
Thanks, Kim, for lovingly encouraging me to return to the Circus Center.
I am a better woman for it :)
love and light,